Thank you for tuning in for the second part of our series examining perfection and how we view our flaws.
In case you missed it, in Part One, we discuss the ways we beat ourselves up wishing we were perfect.
Our Flaws Make Us Human and Real
When my children were younger they often accused me of being perfect, meaning it as an insult, not a compliment. Proof that being perfect is not often viewed as a desirable quality. So then, do we really, truly want to be perfect? Does that make us more likeable, approachable, friendlier, happier or smarter? I feel that our flaws are what make us human and real. They give us something others can relate to, laugh with and feel comfortable with. By accepting our imperfections and allowing ourselves to be truly seen by others, we become more relaxed and comfortable with ourselves and our lives. , making life easier overall.
Accepting our flaws allows us to be more comfortable with ourselves.
The point is nobody sees us or thinks about us the way we think about ourselves. Our flaws are our own and nobody else notices them. I was recently told by a new acquaintance that I was gorgeous and you could have knocked me over with a feather. She said “You know you’re gorgeous right, I mean you do know that?” My thoughts were ‘Are you kidding? You must be blind, can’t you see everything that’s wrong with me? You have no idea what you’re talking about.’ I thanked her graciously because I was taught to accept a compliment. But obviously she saw something in me that I didn’t see in myself.
There’s No Need to Punish Ourselves
When we do something we feel is an embarrassment, failure or mistake, something that is not the best for our lives, health and body; we have an opportunity to choose differently next time. There’s no sense in punishing yourself for your decision because you will always have an opportunity to choose better next time. Sometimes the mistake or failure benefits us by teaching us a valuable lesson. A lesson like checking for pieces of toilet seat covers stuck to your butt before subjecting yourself to a full body, naked skin check by the dermatologist. Yes, this happened to me. When I discovered it I laughed so hard I almost peed myself, then I went out and shared the story so others could have a good laugh, too.
We all have our insecurities and faults we want to hide from others.
What we really need to understand is that everyone has their insecurities and faults. We all have things we want to hide from others. Often, we look at others and think their lives must be perfect. However, I will guarantee you they would disagree with you because their flaws and mistakes are not always clear to us and they aren’t sharing them. I know I feel intimidated by people I perceive as perfect, I feel less than, uncomfortable and somehow inferior. This should be the deciding factor; this realization should make us all want to be more open to sharing our true selves.
We Just Want People to Like Us
Deep down we just want people to like us for exactly who we are but we’re afraid to show that person because we might get hurt. Fear of pain is a big motivator for most people, including me; whether it’s rejection, indifference or avoidance; we simply don’t want to experience it. So we continue to hide our flaws all the while denying those things that make us the most real and approachable.
We should all strive to be perfectly imperfect, perfectly real, perfectly ourselves and then we will have a real chance at discovering perfect happiness.